I want to learn and write. I can do this only in the morning or at night. At night, I have to be with family and try to figure out how to be the best dad ever. In the morning I have difficulties to get up. I’ll tell you how I learned to get up early.
Eros sleeping, Rogers Fund, 1943
First minute after waking up
Turn off the alarm
Woke up, opened eyes, immediately got out of bed
Went to the bathroom to take a shower
Explaining about the last two.
Understanding that the sincere desires of our body are not always the sincere desires of our body has turned my worldview. It dawned upon me that even the deepest habits, which are at the level of instincts and the experience of generations are not that important and can be changed. Sleeping habit falls here.
Sleep and brain
The problem is that brain can’t get out of sleep in a second. It’s not a laptop. It needs some time. That’s why some minutes after waking up should be filled with habitual routine: get up, go to take a shower, listen to the music.
Getting out of bed one millisecond after waking up helps not to fall back on the pillow. I used to have multiple alarms set for 5:10, 5:13. 5:20… and so on. That won’t help. I learned that I just have to get out of my warmy-sweetie bed as soon as possible and do a routine: take a shower.
Sleep and shower
Why shower? Because:
It’s automatic. I don’t have to think about how to take it. My brain has 20 more minutes to relax and understand that it’s already morning, and we have to work.
It’s ideas generating. Ever heard of Shower Thoughts? Science has proof. Reddit even has the separate topic on ideas from showers from all over the world.
It’s all about chemistry. A lot of dopamine is released in our brains during warm showers. We’re more likely to turn attention inwards, able to make insightful connections.
It’s great. I love watering myself, because it gives me a fresh feeling and energy boost just from the morning.
After that I usually make tea and cereal for breakfast, meditate for 15 minutes and get back to work: learning, writing, reading or what’s on the plan for today.
I used to have a habit to buy spontaneously. Anytime when I went to the store I might like something and bought it without much consideration. Money was spent on bullshit, large amounts flew to an unknown destination. I did not like it. I decided to spend less on impulsive purchases.
To prevent this from happening again, I made a list in Evernote. To be exact, I made two lists: for stuff to buy and educational stuff to buy. Anytime I see something worthy or cool, the inner voice whispers: “let’s buy”, the brain in turn says: “stop, put it on the list.” Then I’m putting a thing on the list.
When I want to please myself, I open the list and choose a gift. The system works flawlessly.
My “to buy” educational stuff list in Evernote
And the moral is this: if you want to buy something, put it on the list and wait.
If you are enough introverted as I am, then a simple talk with another human is a great loss of energy, which has to be recharged sitting in a corner with a book.
Whatever you do, you have to talk. Even if you are a super skilled programmer, that girl is not going to go with you to a cafe, if you won’t talk to her.
Being socially dysfunctional man is largely inexcusable.
In 21st century, you have everything to learn those soft skills: speaking, presenting, bullshit generating, sense of humor, etiquette, sociability, collaboration, and many more. Open a No Excuse List, pick up a course and learn it for free.
I failed many times because I am wasn’t ready for challenges. I was relaxed and didn’t expect any threat.
It was just a general meeting for general task with an everyday goal. I knew what to do and how.
But I failed. The meeting was Ineffectual. The team was mixed-up.
Because I wasn’t prepared.
And here’s the lesson:
Always be prepared. It’s the difference between an amateur and a pro.
No matter how small is the meeting, you should be ready to any challenge.
To start with, prepare for these 4 things:
Length — It’s just that simple, yeah. How long is the meeting going to be? 3 hours? Then think about some drink. Visit a restroom. Informing people who might need you that you’re unavailable during the meeting.
Participants — Who is going to the meeting? Learn about them and how they can impact on the meeting. Believe me, this will save you one day.
Topic — At first, never accept an invitation to the meeting with vague topic. Make sure it consists at least one active verb. You must insist that every meeting has a clear goal. Without setting one you’re doomed to discontent, as everybody would expect different things from you, but you can’t hit multiple goals at once.
Do your homework — Homework, seriously, again? Yes. If you had a preparation task for the meeting, you must do it as if you’re presenting it for approval to the CEO. Homework is not just a shitty work to be done. It’s the point of your investment into the team.
No matter how small your assignment is, be prepared.
You might believe that you’re just doing your work to make money.
You might think that you’d rather spend all time with you family, than going to work.
But this is a half-truth. The dark side covers the most important part.
You accepted this half-truth from a kindergarten. Society insists that you must have hobby, work for money and want to be with your family. You must do you work to make it done, all the rest of you belongs to the people around you. This called man’s goodness and righteousness. If you love your work more, you’re not really a man.
You are nothing without your work.
It doesn’t matter what you say to yourself about the work you’re doing. You might hate it and wish to kill your boss. You might dream of quitting and become an entrepreneur. Might want to mine cryptocurrency and locate in the SEA. Your wishes don’t really have an impact on who you are.
The only thing that defines you is the work you do. Period.
You’d rather learn to do something you have a will to do.
You’d rather learn to work as if it is an extension of yourself.
You can’t separate your life from your work. It’s man’s fate, just accept it.
If you don’t know where to go any path will lead you there. I don’t know where to go, so I’ll try to head somewhere. As these things on a list are hard, I’d call them impossible.
I thought what my true life goals are and couldn’t find any. Plus I don’t have any pre-set goals in life. I think that’s absolutely normal, so I’m making a list just to keep on doing something. Might happen that I’ll find my life goals while doing these fake ones.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
Note: This page is very personal, but I keep it here public as a reminder to me.
Change 1 Person’s Life For The Better
Unschooling my children
Living in EU
Find out my nationality
Do a morning workout 100 days in a row
Run a 10k
Run a 20k
Grow muscles until I’m cool
Visit Every Continent
Visit Peru, Bolivia, Mexico
Live a month on the seashore
Visit the Himalayas
Visit Iceland and Greenland
Visit my DNA motherland
Cross the Sahara desert
Follow the longest straight land-only line on Earth
Go without internet for a month
Own less than 300 things
Create a “Getaway” Backpack
Record a full solo song
Publish a sci-fi/fantasy book
Get featured on Medium
Get featured on Quora
Fluent in German language
Learn to dance
Have 50k followers online
Launch a YouTube show and release 10 videos
Launch a product that creates over $10,000 in revenue within one month